[Week 3, Sunday: Shirou]

[fallbymyhands]

[much like Ren, she gives Shirou time. more of it, though. in fact, it isn't until Sunday morning, well after breakfast, that Mitsuru approaches]

Emiya? Good morning.

Comments

[fallbymyhands]

. . . yes. It was.

[especially for cabin one, which is now down four (4) people]

But a new day arrives nevertheless.

[diesifkilled]

[The protag blessing sure did evaporate like the fake summer mist it was, huh.]

That's how it always goes. We just have to move on.

[fallbymyhands]

[SURE DID]

We do. Or at least keep pressing forward, to find the answer we need.

Emiya. . . may I ask you something? It might be personal, so don't feel the need to respond.

[diesifkilled]

[Oh. Shit.]

Is it about what we saw on the phone?

[fallbymyhands]

. . . yes.

[HE KNOWS]

I'm still curious about your relation to the deliveryman.

[diesifkilled]

...Is there any chance you'd be willing to just let it go?

[fallbymyhands]

[at this, she. . . hesitates]

As I said, I won't force you to answer. But he's an employee of the same organization for which Red works.

Anything we can understand about him might help us understand this camp, and how to escape.

[diesifkilled]

[...He sighs.]

I guess there's no real reason to keep it a secret...

Archer is me.

[fallbymyhands]

[. . . . . . what]

You? How is that possible?

[diesifkilled]

It's a bit complicated, but basically Heroic Spirits are cut off from normal time. They can be summoned to any time, so it's entirely possible for one to show up during his own lifetime.

[There that should make perfect sense]

[fallbymyhands]

[yeah, sure it should]

Heroic spirit. . .?

[if she knew what the fuck those were]

[diesifkilled]

[Oh fuck, here we go again. Exposition time.]

You know, heroes. People who performed legendary deeds during their lifetimes and stuff like that. They received the power to do those things from the world in exchange for offering their service after death. That's when they become Heroic Spirits, elevated above normal human beings.

[fallbymyhands]

I see. . . and so, at some point in your life, you perform a legendary deed and become a heroic spirit.

[man, that almost sounds like she's feeding his ego, but. she puts it bluntly, in the way that she understands it]

What is the purpose of a heroic spirit's existence? Who are they serving, and why?

[diesifkilled]

Apparently. It sounds unbelievable when you say it like that, but that's just how it is.

[Fortunately, there is no ego to feed here. He's just as blunt about it as she is.]

...I'm not entirely clear on the mechanics of it all. I think they basically serve the world itself in some way? I don't know what that actually entails, though.

[fallbymyhands]

[no point in beating around the bush!!]

Serve the world itself. . .

[and that's when a thought occurs to her]

What are the implications of an individual meant to serve the world itself working for Red's organization?

[diesifkilled]

...I don't know.

[He hadn't actually thought of it that way.]

I mean, there might not be any implications if it's the same kind of summoning as the Holy Grail War. That didn't have anything to do with serving the world.

[But he's thinking about it now, and it's pretty damn disturbing.]

[fallbymyhands]

Perhaps there are no implications at all. But-- [hm]

I can't help but think it odd, when Red told me the organization she works for is doing this for a greater good.

[diesifkilled]

...Yeah. She said something similar to me, and so did Archer.

[It's. Concerning.]

[fallbymyhands]

[IT'S VERY CONCERNING]

It should be something we keep in mind as we attempt to solve this camp's greater mysteries.

[diesifkilled]

Yeah.

[He sighs. They say talking about problems can lift a weight off your shoulders, but he feels like it's only gotten heavier.]

...I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this, by the way.

[fallbymyhands]

[well, she has no problem with that]

I understand the need for discretion.

[right now, they don't know if it's relevant to their situation, so. . .]

Your secret is safe with me, Emiya.

[diesifkilled]

Thank you, Kirijo. There's probably no way to keep people from noticing that there's a connection, but... the fewer people know the truth, the better.

[fallbymyhands]

"The better?" Is that what you truly believe?

[she'll respect his secrets, but she isn't sure keeping this secret is "for the better."]

[diesifkilled]

Why wouldn't it be? I don't want people to know I end up like that guy.

[He wishes he didn't have to know it himself.]

[fallbymyhands]

Ah. . .

[she tilts her head]

Do you resent him?

[diesifkilled]

...

Imagine that you met your own future self, and that she'd become the complete opposite of everything you want to be.

How would you feel?

[fallbymyhands]

[. . .]

I suppose I would feel. . . conflicted.

[diesifkilled]

Yeah, that's a good word for it.

[fallbymyhands]

I-- know this conversation is already personal, and this question may be personal as well, but. . . what is is about him that you don't like?

[diesifkilled]

He's the kind of person who'd sacrifice the few to save the many.

[He pauses, hesitant, but goes on honestly. He doesn't usually like saying these kinds of things out loud, but since he's already revealing things...]

And I mean, I know that kind of approach makes sense. A lot of the time, it's the only valid option.

But that's... not who I want to be. I want to be someone who'll save everyone.

[fallbymyhands]

[Mitsuru. . . she can admire that, truthfully. especially considering the choices she and SEES made when they were given the option to kill one to enjoy their last few months of life, or spare him and fight an unbeatable enemy]

. . . it may be a logical approach. In many situations, it may be the only approach.

[she says with raw honesty]

But I don't think it wrong to hope and strive for more.

[diesifkilled]

[Her answer catches Shirou by surprise. He's so used to being told that it's stupid and unrealistic, that he's only going to get himself hurt, that he's still shocked by some of the people here at camp agreeing.]

I'm glad to hear you say that. But... apparently at some point I end up changing my mind. And that's not something I can accept.

[fallbymyhands]

Then continue to strive to be better.

[is her only, simple advice]

He may be "you" in the future, but you are not him and he is not you. Whatever future he hails from is not written in stone for you just yet.

[diesifkilled]

...Yeah. That's all I can hope to do.

[It's the only hope he can cling to - that his ideals can survive contact with reality, that he doesn't have to give up on his father's dream even if the world tries to force him to.]

[fallbymyhands]

[ganbatte, Shirou]

I wish you luck. And I'll bee cheering for you.

[diesifkilled]

Thank you. It's... nice to have your support.

[He is really not used to it so it's still a little ???? but it's nice]